6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal

"There’s no class in high school on how to not be a shitty boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be.

But when it comes down to actually handling the nitty-gritty of relationships, we’re given no pointers… or worse, we’re given advice columns in women’s magazines.

Yes, it’s trial-and-error from the get-go. And if you’re like most people, it’s been mostly error.

But part of the problem is that many unhealthy relationship habits are baked into our culture. We worship romantic love — you know, that dizzying and irrational romantic love that somehow finds breaking china plates on the wall in a fit of tears somewhat endearing — and scoff at practicality or unconventional sexualities. Men and women are raised to objectify each other and to objectify the relationships they’re in. Thus our partners are often seen as assets rather than someone to share mutual emotional support.

A lot of the self help literature out there isn’t helpful either (no, men and women are not from different planets, you over-generalizing prick.) And for most of us, mom and dad surely weren’t the best examples either.

Fortunately, there’s been a lot of psychological research into healthy and happy relationships the past few decades and there are some general principles that keep popping up consistently that most people are unaware of or don’t follow. In fact, some of these principles actually go against what is traditionally considered “romantic” or normal in a relationship.

Below are six of the most common tendencies in relationships that many couples think are healthy and normal, but are actually toxic and destroying everything you hold dear. Get the tissues ready."

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48 Documentários de Psicologia

"Neste texto, vamos listar 48 Documentário e vídeos de Psicologia, online e gratuitos que são simplesmente imperdíveis! São documentários completos e vídeos menores que tratam temas importantes da psicologia – como os principais autores e teorias – além de falar sobre as doenças mentais e, também, a respeito da motivação e mudança comportamental."

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Psicologia e Cinema: 215 Filmes para quem ama psicologia

"Lista de duzentos e quinze filmes com temática psicológica! Os filmes são para estudantes, profissionais e todos que desejam saber mais da área. Se você tem uma sugestão que não esteja na lista, por favor, comente deixando o título e a sinopse, nos comentários lá embaixo, ao final da lista."

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Psicologia e Séries de TV

"Depois do sucesso da nossa lista com 215 filmes para quem ama psicologia, neste post vamos listar todas as Séries de TV que tenham uma temática psicológica, ou seja, mostram a atuação de profissionais da psicologia ou área afins, apresentam doenças mentais (como sociopatia ou psicopatia) ou sejam de interesse pela profundidade de análise da personalidade."

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The Most Important Quality You Can Find in a Partner

""Since I'm a relationship researcher, a lot of my single friends ask me, “What should I look for in a partner?”

A complete answer to this question can take a while and is largely dependent on who is asking. Do you like to party? Your relationship will go more smoothly if you find someone who is similarly outgoing. Are you an animal-rights activist? You should probably find someone who doesn’t aspire to buying a fur coat.

But regardless of who is asking, there is one particular trait that is always crucial, something that I think everyone should look for in a partner: responsiveness.

A responsive partner is someone who makes you feel understood, validated, and cared for. Find a responsive partner and everything else can fall into place; it's like relationships on easy mode. But a lot of people have a hard time separating responsive partners from "nice" partners. Responsiveness has nothing to do with how willing someone is to wine-and-dine you or say flattering things to you. It's about how they react in more vulnerable, emotionally-charged moments. When their goals come into conflict with yours, how do they deal with the problem? Say you get a job offer a couple hours away from where you currently live. A responsive partner would first think about your perspective (“Congratulations!”) and then try to find a solution to the geographic challenge, whereas a less-responsive partner might suddenly turn self-absorbed jerk (“I like it here! We can't move and that’s that!”).

As you can imagine, it’s easier to work out relationship issues, big and small, with a partner who’s more responsive rather than less.

How about when you share something personal with your partner, maybe a setback you’ve encountered or a disappointing experience you’ve had? A responsive partner is likely to listen and try to understand (“That must have felt awful. Then what happened?”), while a less-responsive one might dismiss or downplay your experience and try to push the conversation back to “safer” territory (“Wow, that sucks. Hey, do you want to get Mexican food tonight?”).

It’s easier to feel closer and more connected to a responsive partner, because they’re easier to talk to and share meaningful experiences with.

To find someone who is responsive to your needs, here are 3 key behaviors to watch for:

1. Understanding. 

Highly responsive partners pay attention while you share your perspective, and try to properly understand what you are communicating. Understanding partners often ask questions in an attempt to gather more information, so that they can better comprehend your point of view. They may also summarize and paraphrase your perspective, to ensure that their understanding is accurate (“So what you’re saying is…”).

2. Validating.

Responsive partners make you feel that your perspectives are valid and respected. They may say things like, “I completely understand why you feel that way,” or, “I can see why that would be a frustrating experience.” Thus, responsive partners make you feel respected and supported. In the context of a disagreement, validation doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner gives in to you every time. But a responsive partner can make you feel like your views are valid even while they’re standing their ground—“I know my family can be a bit taxing, and I can see why you aren’t thrilled about an extended visit. But it is the holidays, so I think they would be hurt if we didn’t make time for them."

3. Caring.

Finally, responsive partners will make it clear that they are concerned about your wellbeing, even in the context of a conflict. They often do this by expressing affection, or by communicating concern (“I hope I didn’t hurt you by saying that”). Responsive partners may also show their concern and support in more instrumental ways—for example, by bringing you soup when you’re sick. Of course, having already put effort into understanding your needs, responsive people are in a better position to care for you in a particularly sensitive, helpful way because they really do understand what you’re going through.

The situation does play a role in determining how responsive someone is. Someone under a lot of stress is not going to be nearly as responsive at that moment as they are when they’re not. Responsiveness can also vary from relationship to relationship—people, logically, tend to be more responsive toward partners when they are in more satisfying relationships, and when they feel that their partners are more responsive toward them in return. So part of having a responsive partner is being a responsive partner yourself!

All this said, there are definitely individual differences in how responsive a person typically is. Find someone who is skilled (and motivated) at responding sensitively to your feelings and your needs, and you are likely to have a much more rewarding relationship."

Fonte: Psychology Today

10 Discos Para Gostar de Post-Punk

"Passado o estado de emergência imposto pela invasão Punk em 1977, a cena britânica assumiu na imersão a busca por um som obscuro e experimental. Seria o nascimento da cena Pós-Punk, morada de bandas como Joy Division, Gang Of Four e toda uma nova safra de artistas que abriram as portas para a sonoridade obscura da década de 1980. Ainda que o teor soturno seja a base para grande parte dos lançamentos do período, algumas obras fundamentais lançadas no mesmo momento (ou até depois) fogem à regra. Dando sequência ao nosso especial sobre gêneros musicais – que já apresentou obras importantes de gênero como Dream Pop, Ambient Music e Post-Rock -, chega a vez de apresentar 10 Discos Para Gostar de Post-Punk. Clássicos que vão do final dos anos 1970 até o começo do século XXI, quando toda uma nova geração de bandas trataram de reviver o estilo."

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Chico Buarque - Apesar de Você

Selfies

Demons

Jeune & jolie (2013)

Aumente o seu apetite sexual

1 - Corra, se não quer que ela fuja. Correr 3,5 horas por semana aumenta o apetite sexual em 75%, segundo descobriu o Instituto Kinsey.

2 - Coma dois punhados de nozes. Os amendoins também servem. Com estes frutos secos obterá gorduras insaturadas suficientes para manter os níveis de testosterona e portanto a libido, para se manter nas nuvens.

3 - Procure o momento mais excitante dela. O pico está entre o dia 10 e o 14 do ciclo menstrual. Não o perca!

4 - Passe-lhe a língua desde a clavícula até ao pescoço e sussurre-lhe ao ouvido. Cerca de 90% das mulheres afirma que certos comportamentos primitivos nos homens as excitam.

5 - Aumente a substância responsável pela excitação, a oxitocina, com um abraço. Assim tranquilizará a parte do cérebro que capta o risco. Foi o que constataram os investigadores da Universidade de Groningen (Holanda).

6 - Aproxime-se de mulheres que celebram os seus trinta e poucos anos. O Instituto Kinsey demonstrou que esta é a idade em que a mulher alcança o seu pico sexual, graças à subida da libido e à sua experiência.

7 - Carregue no Play. Um estudo da Universidade de Pennsilvania (EUA) demonstrou que os seus níveis de excitação aumentam ao ouvir uma estrutura rítmica simples.

8 - Meça as suas palavras. Cerca de 47% das mulheres respondem melhor a “tens muito bom gosto” do que a “és muito sexy”. Conquiste a sua mente e o seu corpo seguirá o seu caminho.

9 - Beije-a apaixonadamente. Os homens que se esforçam em beijar com paixão aumentam em 30% as probabilidades de repetir um encontro sexual, segundo se depreende de um estudo do Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy.

10 - Passe-lhe as pontas dos dedos pela nuca. Trata-se de um truque infalível para acender o desejo. Pode fazê-lo em público sem quebrar as regras do bom comportamento. 

Fonte: Men's Health

Ser ‘fixe’ na escola não augura um bom futuro

"Os adolescentes que tentam parecer mais velhos do que são, e que por isso se tornam populares na escola, tendem a ter mais problemas ao chegar à idade adulta. As conclusões são de um grupo de investigadores em desenvolvimento infantil e juvenil da Universidade da Virgínia (EUA) e foram apresentadas num artigo na revista académica Child Development.

O estudo, que incluiu o acompanhamento de 184 estudantes durante dez anos, confirma que os adolescentes com aspecto e atitudes aparentemente mais desenvolvidas em relação à sua idade são altamente populares entre os seus pares aos 13 anos. Mas tornam-se progressivamente impopulares até aos 23 anos de idade, devido aos problemas pessoais e sociais que acabam por acumular.

“Ao longo do tempo, estes adolescentes necessitam de adoptar comportamentos cada vez mais arriscados para parecerem ‘cool’”, refere o professor Joseph P. Allen em comunicado.

Concretamente, os adolescentes populares correm maior risco de participarem em actividades criminais, sobretudo se começaram por cometer pequenos delitos para impressionar os amigos.

Tendem também a ter maiores dificuldades em formar novas amizades à medida que passam os 20 anos. Os autores do estudo afirmam que, pelo facto de se associarem a colegas apenas pela aparência física, os adolescentes populares não se habituam a estabelecer relações mais profundas e duradouras."

Fonte: Jornal Sol

The Danse Society - Heaven Is Waiting

Born to be Bad (1950)

A Febre da Corrida

"A corrida tornou-se o desporto nacional. Não há fim de semana que não se realizem uma dezena de provas pelo país. Corre-se pela saúde, por uma causa, para ultrapassar os limites. Corre-se por amor e para quebrar a rotina de uma vida sedentária.

Saiba quase tudo sobre o surpreendente mundo da corrida em Portugal. E você já começou a correr? Então venha correr connosco."

Link da reportagem RTP: Linha da Frente (VI)

Opening Night (1977)

"An actress suffers an emotional uproar in her personal life after a fan dies trying to see her."

IMDB 

A Woman Under the Influence (1974)

"Mabel, a wife and mother, is loved by her husband Nick but her madness proves to be a problem in the marriage. The film transpires to a positive role of madness in the family, challenging conventional representations of madness in cinema."

IMDB

Shadows (1959)

"Cassavetes' jazz-scored improvisational film explores interracial friendships and relationships in Beat-Era (1950s) New York City."

IMDB

Faces (1968)

"An old married man leaves his wife for a younger woman. Shortly after, his ex-wife also begins a relationship with a younger partner. The film follows their struggles to find love amongst each other."

IMDB