Recently, I wrote a post on “The 11 Difference Between Dating a Boy vs a Man“.
The post can have the genders swapped and most points would still
apply. However, we can’t deny that there are some fundamental
differences between men and women – from how we are socialized to the
chemical and hormonal differences that naturally occur. Thus, I thought
it appropriate to follow up with a post on the difference between dating
a girl, vs a woman. Again, many points on this post would apply if you
switched the genders around.
A boy is attracted to girls. A man is attracted to women. Now, this
has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to
maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless
of their age, will never really grow up. Also, this isn’t to say that a
woman won’t ever have “girlish” or immature tendencies or vice versa.
This post refers to one’s maturity and most points would also apply if
you switch the genders as well.
If you are a boy, then expect that you will attract only girls.
However, if you are a man (independent, knows your worth and value, has a
strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and
doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a
woman. And if you can’t spot the difference just yet, here are some
pointers.
1. A girl throws tantrums. When displeased, upset or angry, she
reacts just as she did as a child when she didn’t get her way with her
parents. This often consists of screaming, pouting, giving the silent
treatment, being passive aggressive and/or punishing. A woman still
feels the emotions of being upset/displeased, but has cultivated the
skill of responding versus reacting. She comes to the table as an adult,
and communicates clearly what is bothering her.
2. A girl perceives herself as a princess and believes people should
treat her like so. She is entitled and feels that she is owed and
therefore expects more than she appreciates. A woman, has standards
(what she holds herself to) not expectations (what she projects on to
others).
3. A girl uses her physical beauty as her currency and basis of
value. A girl may be so used to feeling validated through her looks and
sexuality, that she uses this as her primary tool to get what she wants
in life. A woman, knows her worth is beyond her physicality. A woman
bases her value on her intelligence, her strength, her integrity, her
values, her contributions, her humanity.
4. A girl banks on a man to be her financial strategy. A woman plans
to be financially independent – she banks on… herself. And if she so
happens to enter a relationship dynamic where it makes sense for her
partner to be the primary breadwinner, it’s considered a bonus, not the
expected life line.
5. A girl sees the world from a place of lack and scarcity. She
competes and will even tear down another in order to secure resources or
a mate. A woman helps other women. She knows that there’s plenty enough
to go around and takes the high road of integrity to get what she
wants.
6. A girl cannot be bothered with anything domestic and is proud of
the fact that she cannot cook or clean. A woman understands that being
domestic is not a duty, but understands that it is one way of taking
care of herself and others. She also understands that in the event she
wants to create a family, having a person in the household who can
contribute domestically is important.
7. “A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl wants to be
adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one.” -anonymous
8. A girl does not respect her body. She has not yet understood that
her body and heart are sacred, and that it’s important to be mindful of
how she treats it and who she shares it with. “A girl cherishes
handbags, diamonds and her shoe collection as her prize possessions. A
woman cherishes her health, her sense of self, and her talents as her
greatest assets.” – N. Mah
9. A woman takes the time to reflect on the type of human she wants
to be, the example she wants to leave and the vision for her life. She
has put thought into her values and what she stands for. A girl has not
established her moral compass or values and consequently, is often
inconsistent. “After spending time with a girl, you feel exhausted
because she takes more than she gives. After spending time with a woman,
you feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a
passion for life.” – N. Mah
10. A girl has a checklist that prioritizes superficial qualities
above anything else. Here is an example of how this checklist may look:
Hot, popular, wears skinny jeans, over 6 feet tall, rich.. This is the
checklist of what a woman may look for: High integrity, intelligent,
kind, good communicator, emotionally available…
…
Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know
someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a mature woman,
or someone with an immature mindset. However, one of the quickest
filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:
11. A girl plays games. A woman doesn’t.
A girl jumps from one social circle to another, making fast friends that don’t last. A woman values her deep friendships and nurtures that bond with time, gratitude, energy and thoughtfulness.
Nadia Mah
Photo credit: Daniele Martinie
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